Reflection Time

I know, I know. I've been off the radar for a few days. Apologies, apologies, my heartfelt apologies. I know you just yearn to know about how I didn't work out, or ate a Magnum ice cream bar yesterday (I really did that, and holy hell, if you want to blow a meal on an ice cream bar, it's totally worth it. They had them when I was in Europe about a decade ago, and no lie, I have journal entries about them. That's a true fat kid for you. And yes, I realize this is a weight loss blog, so it's weird to be pimping super unhealthy ice creams. Do. Not. Care. So. Delicious. gahhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Also realize this is an incredibly long parenthetical).

Well, on an up note, I've managed to keep my eating relatively clean the past few days. No Easter candy here, folks. But it's certainly not where I'd like to be (though I was down 1.8 lbs this weigh in). More exercise, cleaner eating. These are the goals, peeps.

Which brings me to today. It is my last day at 28. One more year in this decade. One more  year to right my wrongs, to make up for things I've missed out on. One year to make my twenties seem pretty freaking good.

Granted, I've had some amazing things happen this past decade--met and married the love of my life, made amazing friends, became closer with my family, brought my sweet little Evie Kate into the world, graduated from college (twice), became a stay-at-home mom. These big things are the life-changers, the things that will stay with me, and I can look back on my life and be really happy with it.

But, my twenties were also host to a lot, and I mean a lot, of turmoil. Deep, deep depression. Infertility. Thyroid problems. Bad relationships. Dealing w/ a lot of crap from my past. Gaining over 100 lbs. Losing sight of the things that make me happy. Hard pregnancy. Lady business that doesn't work. Opportunities wasted. Losing friends. A myriad of other things. So yeah, there have been a lot of things in my twenties that I would gladly gloss over. However, I also realize that they are a big part of the person I am, and the reason I want to make healthy and positive changes, so I can't just whisk them away, pretending they never happened.

What I can do is remedy my twenties. I want to spend the last year of this decade making up for lost time, healing wounds, repairing burnt bridges, you name it. Why not? I shall leave this decade with a bang and not a whimper. I have resolve to make my next 28 years as good as I can, and I know that I'm the only person that can dictate that--regardless of outside forces, it is up to me to make what I can of my life.

So, I'm spending my last day at 28 doing the things I should have been doing all along. I've eaten well, I got in a great workout, I'm playing with Evie, seeing friends, spending time with family, getting good sleep (thanks to my sister, who is giving me the best birthday present ever by taking the kid for the night), and I will spend 29 fixing the rest.

I have big plans, people. I've updated my 30 before 30 list, and am ready to tackle every single one of those em-effers. I have my plan in place to lose the weight, but more importantly to become the healthiest me that I can. I've set up workouts with my brother-in-law who is becoming a personal trainer 3 days a week. I have menus planned for every meal, including their points, I am ready!

Happy birthday to me (tomorrow)!

3 comments:

  1. I think it's so important to do a reflection as we get older. There's so many things that we just experience and then as a year or so goes by it's like WOW, I can't believe xyz happened. It all (whether we believe it not or need 5 years to reflect) happens and makes us stronger because of it. We don't have to like most of it, but there's so much we learn from our past that we sometimes totally forget about..

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  2. i've been indulging myself in self-pity for months now. you should know that i've been really successful at it too. so, as much as i hate it when people "thank you for sharing that" on blogger... dude, thanks for paragraph five. really. why is it so hard to see how our turmoil molds us, in the midst of our turmoil? i believe in opposition in all things. i believe in balance, that the good will always, if only eventually, balance out the bad. i do. so why is it so hard for me to use the hindsight i've earned when faced with new challenges?
    perhaps, we are all just human. and we forget. and need constant reminding.

    anyway.

    happy last day of 28! i'm quite happy to know you, if only via internet. :)

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  3. I want to hear more about this list, please.

    I love this post. Well done.

    And dude--you've never driven the scooter? (Remember when I had that scooter all summer? BEST. SUMMER. EVER.)

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