In high school, I always felt like I could hold my own, felt pretty confident, because I knew everyone and got along w/ them, and if anything, I knew I would probably have class with them and knew I was smarter and funnier than they were. There was always this crippling agony, though, of either being considered completely nonsexual--basically another dude, or as something hideous that people were making jokes about behind my back. It probably wasn't happening, I was likely not even on people's radar, but such is the life of a self-conscious being. Always assuming that people are talking shit on you. Or worse, being nice to your face so they can make fun of you when you're not around. Sad, isn't it, that's where I go in my interactions with people.
I can't say that I got over that as I got older (I really didn't), but after being married and having a kid, it has certainly gotten better. I feel pretty comfortable until I'm around groups of people and I'm alone, especially groups of men together or groups of women together. Then my mind instantly goes to "what do I look like? Are they making fun of me?"
Anyway--that's the not particularly clear, long-winded way of getting to the point: my weight-lifting workout sucked. I've sporadically lifted weights over the years, but have always felt uncomfortable/not confident, so combine that with a bunch of high school boys, and basically I spent the whole time feeling really self-conscious.
I made it through my workout, but not happily. Then all the cardio machines were in use, so I only worked out for a half hour (good thing I got a walk in earlier). I realized that I need a weight lifting buddy if I'm going to keep it up at OFC, otherwise I'm going to have to invest in some dumbbells and just do my lifting at home.
I am really proud of myself for going, I've worked out 3 days in a row now, and I also haven't had any sugar! I've kept up w/ my other goals as well, but those two are the hardest for me. I think the sugar thing is really helping with my inflammation problems, which may be reason enough for me to stay off for good (yeah, right).
Album of the Day
She and Him, Vol. 1
I haven't listened to this in ages, and I was trying to find something fun to sing to Evie today (she was having kind of a rough one). This fit the bill, and I probably listened to this song 5 times.
"Whatever Tickles Your Fancy"
I'm guessing that this means I get to post anything I want. Which is weird (and there are quite a few of these days---methinks the creator of this 30 days was la-hay-zee). So, here's some adorable pictures of Evie. Chances are pretty good there will be a lot of these.