Day One (for like, the millionth time)

Today felt good. I took charge of my eating, and I feel really proud of myself. I weighed in. Sure enough, up 4.8 pounds. That brought me down in the morning, but I realized that all I can do is try again and again, so despite the setback, I moved on, and felt some genuine successes.

After yesterday's breakfast at Communal, I was craving greek yogurt. Chobani's honey is 4 points, and really good. I'm going to make granola tomorrow to make parfaits. I also had some Clinton's Jack Spratt sprouted wheat bread. It's made by a local company and it's only 4 points for 2 slices.

Lunch was some leftover pizza from the other night. I thought it would be tough to fit into my points/not worth the points, but after plugging in the recipe into the points calculator, I was able to eat more than my fill. (you'll see that I took a big ol' bite out of the butternut squash piece before snapping this picture). 14 points for all of that. Awesome.

Dinner was a surprise. Genuinely. I wasn't really planning on eating dinner, but when we got home from visiting Kieren, Scott and her sweet little peanut, I was starving. I sauteed some red onions, 3 handfuls of spinach, a half cup of quinoa (even though it's contributing to poor Bolivians not being able to eat their native food anymore, forcing them into eating like Americans. I already had it. I don't know how much more frequently I'll be buying it), some grape tomatoes and a little feta cheese. Super good. Super healthy. Super filling.

I only am going to let myself get slightly side-tracked here: I am completely overwhelmed by how unethical our food systems are in this country. We are so completely broken. I feel like I can't eat anything without feeling guilty. I'm working really hard to find ways around this, but, man. It really, really sucks.

I've been getting dressed, every day. I have the pictures to prove it, but I'm only going to post yesterday's (because I looked adorable) and today's (so I'm back on task...not so much with the loving of the outfit).

I bought this dress at Shade before they went out of business (and came back). I wore it on my date with Vegor. The only thing lacking is pockets. I'm pretty certain that every dress should have big old pockets. I'm strongly considering sewing pockets into every dress I own.

Listen. I get it. The stripes aren't doing anything for me. At all. Nor are the jeans. I look like a fifteen year old lumpy boy. Fine. Consider these items retired. I really like doing this. It makes me take inventory of the clothes I have and what I should be getting rid of (like the above), and knowing what I look and feel good in. I am learning what a huge impact getting ready has on my attitude and my willingness to do other things.

Does it feel like I'm back? Not so Debbie Downer, not so woe is me? I hope so. This past month and a half have been kind of brutal, and I'm not sure why. I've tried to come out on top a few times and got pulled back under, but I'm feeling as good and motivated as I was when I started this a few months ago, which I hope I can continue to maintain.

4 comments:

  1. Hi Errin!

    Have you tried eating 5 meals per day using fruit or veg as the filler? I thought that the extra in-betweens might keep your proverbial metabolic fire burning. Just a thought. :)

    And the stripes. You love them. I know it. I will not throw the fashion book at you. :) Promise!

    Sarah
    TheWeatheredWord.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  2. i do love stripes. i just don't like THOSE stripes :)

    i do eat fruit and veg throughout the day, i just never document them because they are 0 points (YAY!). that was one of the reasons i joined ww.

    it's ok if you throw the fashion book at me. i often need it. my default is to dress like a hobo w/ a line of credit at the gap.

    ReplyDelete
  3. yeah, what CAN you eat without feeling guilty? i struggled with this for a long time before deciding that what i would feel most guilty about would be turning down a meal that someone offered me. "thanks for having me for dinner; i hope everything you're serving accommodates my very specific eating habits." can't do it. i respect people who can, though, and i love to accommodate different eaters. where am i going with this? if i had a point it seems i lost it.

    ReplyDelete
  4. i always like preparing food to accommodate different food lifestyles, i think it stretches my cooking chops, but i do always feel weird about being the lone vegetarian (or vegan, when it was the case) because it always becomes a big deal. it's really hard to balance personal feelings with manners/respect. i don't know what the answer is.

    ReplyDelete