I am not a religious gal. I do not go to church, I do not pray. My belief in the almighty is a shaky, bizarre mix of bits I've picked up along the way. That said, I'm accepting the intervention that came today to be outside of myself and will leave it at that.
Evie slept like crap last night, which in turn, means that her father and I also slept like crap. Up more times than I can count. This morning, she wouldn't eat, napped fitfully, I was at my wits' end. I started bawling. "I don't know what to do! Help me know what to do!" After a good 15 minutes of freaking out, I looked outside and decided to go for a run.
Any other day, it would not have happened.
I would have been too tired, to overwhelmed, too upset. But today, amid more craziness than I'd dealt with in a bit, I decided to go. I packed up a tired, cranky kid, called Ashley so someone could find me if we got attacked (I carry mace and have my gps on, too, but it's my defense against 127 hours syndrome--always leave a note, you know?) and ran my guts out.
It felt amazing. Granted, I'm still doing week 1 workouts, so I'm only running 1 minute at a time, but I did the workout twice, which means I ran for a total of 18 minutes. I went 3.3 miles. I needed it.
When I got home, my food choices were good. I didn't feel stressed out or crazy anymore. I realized that the best I could do was the best I could do. So, my kid might not nap like she should. My house won't get cleaned and I won't get out of my workout clothes, but I've taken care of her and myself as best I could. That made me feel really calm and okay with the situation.
I forget that she's just tiny, and that it's more than okay for me to not have my whole life together right now. I just need to focus on keeping her healthy, happy and safe, and need to do the same thing for me. Baseboards will get scrubbed soon enough, makeup will be applied when there's time. For now, the order of importance in my life (for me, not her or Veg) is eat well, exercise. Anything beyond that is delicious gravy.
Dinner, was not as healthy, but I still stayed within my daily points (I even had a few to spare!) I made one of Vegor's favorites--"Hot Hats". They're basically calzones w/o sauce, but since I had no pizza dough, I opted for puff pastry. I had one serving of puff pastry (back in the old days I would have eaten a whole sheet) w/ havarti cheese. Lordy. So unhealthy, yet so amazing. I was happy that I could indulge just a little bit and feel like I got what I wanted but also followed my own guidelines. I got a little hungry around 8 so had another serving of yogurt w/ Crofters and a banana mixed in and a couple pieces of toast.
I'd like all of my days to look a lot like today. Exercise, healthy eating, calmness, confidence. I'm trying. Day one of my #7daychip goal, down!